So you're on a date with someone new or someone old, and its going really well. He's been showing his interest, he's been a perfect gentleman, he's laughed at your jokes, he's gazed into your eyes, he's worked the magic. And when he walks you to your door and plants that perfect kiss on your lips, you just don't know what to do with yourself. And in a breathy voice, perhaps just a bit above a whisper, you ask him if he'd like to come upstairs. HALT!!!!

Here is what I suggest you do instead:

Never invite a guy back to your place. Try to go to his instead (assuming you've been dating him a while and know that he's not a serial killer).

The reasons:

1. If he goes to your place, he might decide to hang around the next morning, even when you are trying your hardest to get rid of him.

2. If he goes to your place and he wants to take off, he can take off in the middle of the night and your left feeling used. But if you go to his place, you can stay until you're ready to leave.

3. When you're at his place, you can learn a lot about who he is by his decor and other items around his place. For example, you can verify that he doesn't live with his mother, and that he is indeed single.

And when should you go back to someone's place?

There are various answers to this. In fact, most people have their own rubric to determine this. Me? I use a sliding scale. If we're exclusively dating, I have no problem taking the plunge. Additionally, if I am just in need of some attention and my date seems to be that guy who should give it to me, then I'll go for it as well. When do you take someone upstairs? And how far do you go the first time?

I've succumbed...

There is a lot to be said about a partner who knows what he's doing... It makes him IRRESISTIBLE! Even when you've made your resolutions, and you've decided to avoid certain activities, just one look or one slight touch is enough to overcome your strongest protestations.

Now, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.

When I regain my self respect, I'll tell you all about how this came about.

Well, after my previous post, I was berated by a couple of my friends as shallow and materialistic. And I fear that I have given off the wrong impression. So I'll try again, this time more briefly:

I am a successful and well educated woman. I have accumulated some net worth. All I look for in a man is a matching amount of success. And I am often pleasantly surprised when the guy has accumulated more than a modest amount. No, I am not particularly materialistic, but I do have a great appreciation for ambition and success. In fact, a person who has these achievements inspires me.

Thoughts? ... And I promise that my next post will be juicy. :-)

Every woman has different expectations for the guy that they hope to date. And often, these expectations are variable and depend on the age of the guy and where he is from.

I, for example, am willing to date men within 5 to 15 years older than me. And my expectations of younger men are different than an older man.

Of course, there are some things that are common across all age ranges. For example, I need someone honest, and confident, and intelligent, and worldly. But in terms of economic success or career path, I often have different expectations for a younger guy as opposed to an older guy. I mean, shouldn't someone who's had more time be able to amass wealth or have a successful career?

I just met this guy who is well into the latter part of his life, and he doesn't have much to show for his youth. He's single, never married, no children, no property, no investments, no savings. Isn't it strange that a single guy of advanced age could have no net worth? On the other hand, I know several guys in their late twenties and thirties who are quite settled and own multiple properties and have amazing jobs or businesses...

What do you expect from a guy? Is it weird for a guy in his forties or fifties to have no measurable economic worth? Do you care about these things when you're dating someone?